They say authors live off of reviews.
I’m not sure how true this is, but I bet some authors eat those reviews for breakfast.
Me, on the other hand, I write my reviews not so I can necessarily “feed” an author, but so I can give them a unicorn for Christmas.
Let me explain.
Rumor is that if an author reaches fifty reviews on Amazon, they get a free pet unicorn. (For those who are not a fan of unicorns, I’m fairly sure you can submit a request for a dragon or other mythical creature. You’ll want to take that up with Amazon though.)
This idea that I could help an author get a free unicorn formed the beginnings of my brand and website, Unicorn Quester. I simply couldn’t pass the opportunity to be involved in something so extraordinary and began to actively start book blogging and share as many books as possible.
Yet … some authors sometimes still don’t receive reviews from readers gushing on social media about how amazing their book was.
This got me to thinking.
What would an author do or get on Christmas Day if they received a gift-wrapped package of reviews in the form of a mythical present?
For those curious, here are five different occurrences (in no certain order) I think would happen when they wake up Christmas morning.
They get free days of reading stacks of books.
These authors haven’t been able to read much this year. They’ve spent any extra time marketing the book they’ve poured their heart into and writing the second book in the series for anxious readers.
Their e-readers and bookshelves have overflowed from book purchases over the months and have gradually started taking over their homes unaware.
When those reviews pour in, suddenly they can read all the books before diving back into their new story that is just as epic as the one they’ve been marketing.
A dragon arrives, offering them a free ride.
This one is for all the dragon lovers! Wonder if these authors could have a once-in-a-lifetime experience of actually flying on a dragon? Not just writing or dreaming about it, but really flying on one to enchanted places only the dragon could take them to.
If the doorbell rings after family members have arrived, know an epic adventure awaits on the other side. (Hopefully Christmas dinner is fully prepared as it might be awhile before any author returns to help cook.)
An actual pet unicorn “under” their Christmas tree.
Well, of course an author HAS to get a free pet unicorn as per the rumor of getting fifty Amazon reviews. It simply wouldn’t be Christmas without one!
This upcoming holiday would be one of the most magical holidays and sure to be one that young nieces and nephews won’t ever forget (especially if they beg Aunt or Uncle to let them ride this beautiful animal).
Who’s to say that any future works-in-progress won’t be “blessed” and full of delightful magic because of this new unicorn friend?
A lifetime supply of coffee, tea, or favorite drink of choice.
Keep those stockings up all year long because they’ll never run out of an author’s favorite beverage!
No more panic of forgetting to buy coffee at the grocery store, or panic if they ran out of an author’s favorite brand.
Reach a hand into the stocking and voilà! A tea packet or container of a hot drink awaits! A great way to fulfill any cravings for new drinks, or have the perfect writing muse (and maybe host the next writer’s group meeting).
Santa brings a cure to “writer’s block.”
Possibly one of the best gifts this Christmas season from all those reviews: A cure to writer’s block.
No more does an author have to feel they are stuck on story plots or problems for weeks. All they need is one drop from Santa’s gifted bottle and instant inspiration hits of how to fix any “holes” in a manuscript, regardless of genre or length.
An author doesn’t even have to worry if the bottle will run out as it’s a gift that never runs dry.
So, what are you waiting for?
Get out there and leave your favorite authors some rave reviews!
And if any of these authors you’ve reviewed for suddenly start sharing pictures of unicorns near Christmas trees or selfies on flying dragons, could you set me up with a meet-and-greet, please?
It’s not every day you get to meet a real unicorn, you know?
Well, unless an author writes another book and repeats the process all over again (which then I would still want the meet-and-greet with that author and unicorn).
Connect with Laura!
Laura A. Grace has a thrilling obsession with supporting her favorite authors. From hosting blog tours to throwing virtual parties, she’s always seeking new ways to spread the book love.
More than once her handsome ninja husband has heard the squeals of a late night fangirl as she reads a new plot twist or hears from her author friends. She and her family live in North Carolina, where they wield plastic lightsabers and keep an eye out for wandering unicorns.
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